I. #

I know you dread becoming an adult. Most adults seem to have such boring lives. Not that you’re having fun all the time either. High school biology isn’t that exciting. But at least your life outside of school is filled with novelty. That’s something. There’s something special about all those first times.

If you’re just seeking novelty, you’ll be disappointed. Maybe that’s the real reason you dread adulthood. While I don’t feel like an adult just yet, many of my friends have become Real Adults, being in stable relationships, getting high-paid jobs and moving abroad. So I’m beginning to understand the adult world. It’s not as bad as it seems, only very different.

II. #

You’ll feel less lost. Few adults know with absolute certainty what they’ll be doing in twenty years time; only the boring ones do. Still, they probably have a vague idea of what kind of work they enjoy and don’t enjoy.

When you feel less lost, you can start doing good work and having a positive impact on the world. There’s something deeply gratifying about pursuing a meaningful goal with a good team. I think this effect is the most visible among startup founders, who can have all-consuming jobs without burning out.

Teenagers cannot sustain the same kind of commitment. They have too many constraints. Teenagers should be popular, get good grades in school, engage in extracurriculars and so on. When you’re an adult, you can decide which game to play. Teenagers are expected to play all games at once.

III. #

Indeed, as an adult, you do you.

Once you live alone, you’ll enjoy a much larger degree of freedom. You can go to bed whenever you want, you can create your own system for cleaning your room, you can listen to modern jazz without bothering anyone.

Moreover, you’ll have a bigger say when it comes to life decisions: where to go for vacation, which job to take, whom to date, etc. Although your parents happen to be quite liberal, you’ll soon enjoy unprecedented liberties.

IV. #

Most adults are reasonable people. Adults tend to be friendly, taking pleasure in helping out. In contrast, teenagers can be really nasty towards one another. Mean Girls regularly happens in real life. But even people like Regina George do mature, believe it or not.

This is why we’re told to assume good intent. Assuming good intent isn’t just a feel-good hack - the idea of being surrounded by adversarially-minded people is quite depressing - it’s also good epistemics.

Corollary: ask more for help. If you have special needs at work, don’t hesitate to bring it up with your employer. You can also cold-email people asking for specific advice.

V. #

By a teenager’s standards, you’ll be rich. Not objectively, of course. But you’ll no longer agonise over your coffee costing 30 SEK. When you go over all your expenses, you’ll realise that the amount you save by cutting out tiny indulgences makes no difference. Moreover, once you know you’ll find some kind of job, if only a poorly paid one, treating yourself becomes easier.

While some teenagers spend too much, you’re being too harsh on yourself. Please don’t be such a “utilitarian”. For example, invest in a Lamy Safari, get Brunnen notebooks and occasionally have coffees for 30 SEK.

As an adult, you know your preferences, so you can make better purchases. You’ll spend more time exploiting rather than exploring.

VI. #

I cannot tell you just how good it feels to have a normal brain - a brain that’s not flooded by hormones and equipped with a pre-frontal cortex.

Fear not. Most emotions are no less intense in adult life. If you’re still distrustful, remember that most poets peak in their mid 30s (the romantics weren’t that many, after all). The highs are as high, if not higher, while the lows aren’t as low. No more strong pangs of envy, as when you’re a teen.

Perhaps you can develop a better appreciation for, say, exhilaration, much as an aspiring sommelier develops a better appreciation for wine.

The formation of a sommelier involves theoretical and practical components. I think the analogy of the theoretical component is reading fiction, going to the theatre or watching movies. I’m more of a reader than a theatre-goer or a movie-watcher, so I cannot really speak to the effects of watching plays or going to the cinema. But I think reading fiction helps you appreciate the complexity of feelings. A sommelier also has to have tasted a large number of wines. Similarly, if you are to become a sensational sommelier, you need to accumulate a large number of experiences.

VII. #

See, adult life maybe isn’t too bad. You probably didn’t expect any of these benefits; if you did, you wouldn’t have wanted to be forever young. Similarly, my 30s, 40s and 50s will bring their own set of surprises. My psychological immune system will hopefully take care of those too.